Dear Wounded:

Just the mention of the word "church" leaves a bad taste in your mouth and may cause you to throw up in your mouth a little. You recall old scars that you've been trying to cover up for years. I get that.

For millions across the globe, Earth Day is the once a year opportunity to rally support for a favorite cause, celebrate the planet, and work to make it a better place to live. In honor of this sacred annual occasion, I propose the following:

Let's boycott Heaven.

Really, when it comes down to it, eternal bliss is overrated. Most of us spend more of our time worrying about the afterlife then we do enjoying this one. Not that Heaven isn't a worthwhile long term goal-it beats all current retirement packages (especially in this recession).